


A Small House of Happiness

by islasands



Series: Lambski [10]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Dreams, M/M, Wolf Spirits, happiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-16
Updated: 2011-10-16
Packaged: 2017-10-24 16:02:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/265362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/islasands/pseuds/islasands
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam and Sauli are enjoying being alone in the wilderness. They both cherish this time together, when nothing really matters but their love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Small House of Happiness

He could hear Sauli rustling around back at their tent. Refreshing the fire. Making tea. He smiled to himself, remembering how Sauli had said he was very happy to have a ‘small house for happiness’. And he was right. Their tent was the perfect size. Lying together surrounded by nothing but forest, watched over by the myriad stars, listening to sounds that were not recordings – breathing the same breath, close, face to face; their happiness became something you could touch. As they talked, Adam with his head on Sauli’s shoulder, they had linked their hands in the air above them, their fingers twining, untwining, grasping, releasing, folding and unfolding over one another in the prayer that is love.

During the night he had another of his recurring dreams. In the dream he was running from someone, running for his life, and he always ended up in the same place.

He was standing, panting, at a land’s end where the only way forward was a swing bridge that stretched out across the ocean, linking, apparently, to another headland barely visible in the smoky distance. He had no choice but to set out, tightly gripping the rope rails as he made each shaky step. The bridge felt so unstable, swinging and bucking in the wind. The sea was thousands of feet below but when he looked down, his fears were confirmed, and he could see tiny dark shapes in the water, circling as they tracked his progress.

Suddenly, midway across, the bridge ropes began to unravel and disintegrate. He could feel the wooden slats loosening beneath his feet. He panicked, knowing full well that he could neither return nor go forward. Falling was inevitable. Foolishly, but involuntarily, he began screaming for help. He paused in his cries, thinking he had heard an answer. Despite the distance involved, he felt sure he could see eyes watching him from the other side of the bridge. “Come!” the voice commanded. And he obeyed. He leapt out of himself in the direction of the voice.

“Adam, wake up.” Sauli was leaning over him. He knew all about this dream. He knew the sounds Adam made when he was having it.

Adam woke up and stared into Sauli’s eyes. “I’m okay,” he said. "I’m okay. I’m sorry.” He placed his palm on Sauli’s cheek. “Was I growling?”

“Yes, growling and making the breath sounds.” Sauli imitated the panting sounds. “You know, even if you fall, my love, please only close your eyes. I will catch you. I will be a mattress on the sea.” Adam laughed. He held Sauli tightly to his chest. How could he explain that the dream was not about falling but leaping? And not into safety, no, not that, but into the unknown, into a body that was not his own, and into a group of similarly strange bodies, who all stood around him, howling or biting at the side of his neck.

“Tea! Now you come!” Adam grinned when he heard the shout. He loved the curt and forthright nature of Sauli’s broken English. He looked back in the direction of the camp. He wanted to go back but looking up river he had noticed a massive, flat-topped rock dividing the water. All along the narrow stream the sun’s light was dappled by the branches leaning over to touch their siblings on the opposite bank. But the rock was so big that it widened the stream, making enough space for it to receive the sun’s undivided attention. It stood quietly in the centre of the stream, its base licked by the stream's rapids, its face bare and covered in sunshine. It would be warm to the touch. It looked like some ancient altar set up in the middle of the forest and it cried out for his naked self to lie upon it.

Adam went up stream, took off his clothes, and walked into the water. He found the best place for climbing the rock. He stood on top of it for a while and surveyed the forest, the stream, the cloudless cathedral of sky above him. He laid down. The warmth of the rock was quickly absorbed by his skin. He moved his arms and legs and face-down palms to gather warmth from the untouched spots. The sun poured into his face and chest and genitals with the unwavering glare of a stage spotlight. He felt pinned down by the indifference of its scrutiny. He stretched out his arms, like a supplicant, and felt the light entering his brain, sweeping it clean of all thoughts. He was nothing but it was a goodly nothing. The meaninglessness of his little life, his puny body, his miniscule gift of consciousness, rose out of him like a trail of incense.

On the way back to Sauli he revisited the joy he felt in Sauli’s indifference which was similar to that of the sun. Now, for instance, when he had gone off to follow a whim, Sauli didn’t pursue him, didn’t come to check up on where he was or what he was doing. Nor would there be any glance of recrimination when he returned- and the tea was cold. He would be occupied with some strange occupation, like looking at his reflection in the back of a spoon, or writing postcards to his loved ones which he invariably forgot to send, or throwing a knife at a random target, - yes, he even did that back home, pretending he was going to deal to the racoons, or running his legs up the wall at the back of their bed to see how high he could go. Adam laughed, and walked more quickly along the forest track.

He paused at the clearing to see if his calculation was correct. It was. Sauli was writing things on ripped pieces of paper before consigning them to the fire. Adam sat down next to him and watched.

“You are writing in Finnish?” he remarked.

“Yes. I am writing love notes. To you. This is the fact.”

Adam leant back on a backpack. “And then you burn them?”

“And then I burn them.”

“Why?”

“Because in other wise words, they burn me.” Sauli turned and looked gravely into Adam’s eyes. “Sometimes, my love thoughts for you are too many. And too strong. I cannot say them. But I have to say them or they burn me!”

Adam closed his eyes. He couldn’t speak. He put his hand on Sauli’s back to steady himself. He suddenly and vividly remembered his dream.

“Come here you,” he said roughly, when he felt he was sufficiently recovered to speak. “I want you to bite my neck, wolf boy.”

They sprawled and rolled on the grass, locked in a fighting embrace, licking and biting at each other. They kissed. Still kissing, they crawled to the tent, where Sauli, kneeling between Adam’s legs, drank him so fiercely Adam had to reach down and grip handfuls of his hair. Sauli looked up at him. His eyes and their expression reminded Adam of the eyes in his dream, the eyes that watched him from the far off headland. Adam’s grip softened. He caressed Sauli’s hair. “When you say ‘come’, I do,” he said, referring to the voice in his recurring dream. Sauli looked down thoughtfully.He put his face against Adam's cock and licked the sticky residue of semen. He eyed Adam. “I like to put my thoughts of you in _this_ fire.”

They slept. Adam’s sleep was peaceful and uninterrupted by dreams, his mind as empty as it had been when he sunned himself on the rock. He slept the sleep of an animal that at long last has found a safe haven, far from the searching eyes of hunters. He nuzzled into Sauli’s arm, as though into fur, and Sauli, responding instinctively, turned towards him and flung his free arm across him.

The sun, meanwhile, quite unaware of their existence, bathed their small house of happiness with its light, and filtered through the trees to dance along the stream, carelessly contributing its strength to all things that were leaping into life.

 


End file.
